Carers Week

 Well this week is about raising awareness of carers.  So far on this blog I've discussed at length the lack of awareness from just about everyone from strangers to friends and even medical and social care professionals.  This week I've discovered one person, a friend, is very aware of my caring role, although that could be because I moan a LOT to her so for that I apologise.  

Usually organisations such as Carers UK and Devon Carers choose a topic for carers week and there are events in the community that provide a break and places for both carers and carees to go too.  For the second time in a row the pandemic has stopped this.  Many carers and carees are still sheilding because there are no vaccines suitable for them.  The risk is still too great for us but it's okay because the rest of the country needs to move on: they need to have a holiday, they need to return to full time work because they don't have the option to have ideals such as those that involve caring 24 hours a day and constantly watching every penny - deciding it's better to go without basics e.g. medication, food etc than get further in debt, they need to meet with friends and family.  It's different for non carers, the non vulnerable because those of us who can afford ideals of caring, staying at home because there is no respite care, going without because we get £64.60 to pay, water, electric, gas, car fuel, car insurance, car VED {road tax}, food, clothes, shoes, medication, rent/mortgages and council tax {oh yes even those of us on incomes this low still have to pay our council tax we aren't exempt.} etc have chosen this lifestyle.  I've never yet met a carer who chose this life style.  So this week there are two hash tags that are being used the first is #CarersWeek and the second is #RealCarersWeek.  

I'm enjoying Real Carers week the best.  There's a bingo for starters with this card....it's EASY to cross things off and hundreds of people had a full house within hours of it being published:

My favourite item on this card is "I would like to thank all carers {care workers then mentioned}" it is generally used by the Prime Minister or MPs.   However this Carers week as with last year the Prime Minister excelled himself and didn't even mention unpaid Carers at all. He said:  This #CarersWeek I want to take a moment to thank care workers.

Now many may not know the difference but as I've mentioned before...Care workers are entitled by law to a minimum wage, training, lunch breaks, days off, very few work over night or all night and those that do don't work days.  Their employers pay into a pension for them, they aren't allowed to lift or do anything that may affect their physical or mental health, they get paid holidays.  

Unpaid carers are those in receipt of the £64.60 that is deemed enough for us to live on, it works out at UNDER £1 per hour, for those doing 14 hours care a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks of the year.  Most carers are doing a minimum of 14hours a day, at one point I was doing 22 waking hours a day, 154 hours a week!  

It's great kick in the teeth and punch in the gut moral wise when your saving the country £132 billion pounds in tax and govt funding for care and the Prime Minister who is the one making this saving doesn't even know you exist and doesn't seem to want to know you exist and aren't deemed worthy of the basic living wage.

Recently there have been a few posts on social media discussing how much money {tens of thousands} someone who goes part time/flexi working or gives up work to care from the age of 50 is losing.  What it does not mention is the fact that children as young as 4 are carers to parents and siblings, some of these carers will remain carers in their young adult life, regardless of if they leave with a first class degree or no school leaving qualifications they can still find themselves caring into their late 40's 50's or even into their retirement when it's parents and siblings they are caring for...nobody mentions the income they lose because nobody is bothered about their existence.  

Whilst I didn't realise it, I've been a carer for much longer than I care to remember, in my day there wasn't the public awareness of young carers or young adult carers but now carers uk and devon carers are aware and do their best to support them.  I actually took lots of low paid jobs that I could do around my caring role, it was a struggle and it became so stressful it was impossible and I had no choice but to not work anymore.  

The isolation is still hard, especially on the rare occasion I do get out, once in the big wide world you realise what you are missing and it becomes harder to accept you can't have it, you can't socialise with friends, see other family, you can't just pop out for some shopping, sometimes even just sitting in the garden isn't possible. 

However for many carers week is the opportunity to meet those who understand because they are doing the same thing as you, it also gives the opportunity to try out some activities, exercise and creative arts etc.  In person this is great for everyone but especially for a deaf carer, unfortunately yet again thanks to non carers, non vulnerable people who aren't bothered that covid rates are rising and people are dying it's going to be another year where everything for carers week is held online...zoom is great for people who can hear but for a deaf carer there are no subtitles and it's just another thing you can't well I can't participate in.  

The pandemic, as I keep bemoaning, has been great about showing what society think of the vulnerable, the disabled and anyone whose weaker than them...the general consensus is shove them they can die as long as society doesn't have to alter their lives.  I'm not sure it's any different without a pandemic it just seems it because there's no need for society to be as vocal about it. There is also the fact that the pandemic saw resources removed from unpaid carers, well what little resources there were and many of those caring are now in a position where it's not just their mental health that is suffering but their physical health too.  The lack of legislation, support and access to equipment means many now have illnesses, life long injuries and disabilities that can mean they won't be able to return to work on the death of the caree or be able to enjoy a full life again anyway.

Carers have and always be at risk of poor Mental health because caring has always been and will always be isolating whilst society wants to keep us hidden, being the minority and not a trendy minority group I genuinely can't see anything changing and whilst that's very pessimistic and I'd love to be proven wrong it's very unlikely in my life time that it will change.

If I had one dream for this carers week real or otherwise it would be to be treated better by society, for the prime minister to come and do a stint for a month...22hour days without contact from others....find out what it's really like to be an unpaid carer then face us and tell us why we don't deserve the respect that everyone else gets through the legal requirement of a minimal living wage?  

As it's just a dream I'll go back to playing Real Carers Week Bingo and seeing how many times I can get a full house in just 7 days.  I'll also dream about bringing you a positive post about caring and being deaf...you never know, there is that saying miracles do happen so I guess it's not impossible it's just extremely unlikely, in fact I'd say there's more chance of multiple millionaire wins on the lotto than it happening but you never know.

One final note...if there's anything to come of this carers week it's this...please spare a moment and reach out to your caring friends and family.  They may seem fine but they are so used to saying everything is fine they don't know how to reach out for help, often because when they do it's refused.  Keep trying and keep being there for them.  Thank you to a certain someone for doing that!