The deaf carer and respite

 I've been thinking about what to put in this post and how to write it for some time.  I wanted this to be my next post because during the first few months of the pandemic respite care was withdrawn and whilst I knew in my head it was the right thing to do for many reasons, which this post is not about, it also meant an end to my few hours off a week.  

Prior to the pandemic I was getting four hours off on a Thursday morning.  Originally for a lipreading class and then for what turned out to adventures when the class moved and I could no longer get there.  My adventures were mostly local but I took a national trust membership and enjoyed some time both looking at the history of properties and the grounds. I have a fascination with history but also with nature so for me it was the perfect combination.

I've seen some great exhibitions, Killerton does a fabulous Chirstmas where the decorations take on a theme each year, my favourite being Wind in the Willows.  I also saw the Votes for Women exhibition at Killerton.  That enthralled me and I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the last owners parts in the Suffrage movement.  I learnt about gothic buildings and some unique decorations including the stone carvings of the deadly sins at Knightshays.  

There are some amazing nature walks too, I've seen squirrels galore although sadly only greys. I would love to see wild red squirrels and rabbits even cattle oh and some willow deer too.  I love walking in woodlands such as Wellington Monument during autumn, leaves to kick and interesting fungi to see as well as walking at the beach, Seaton in particular because of the interesting things that wash up and you get some interesting rip tides at Axmouth Harbour end.   

There's something about walking, for me it's as close as I am going to get to swimming I can choose the speed, I can stomp or creep, stop and stare or just keep walking and let my mind wonder.  I also use art journaling to work through things when I struggle with finding the words.  This is possibly a deaf thing...the words I don't hear in a sentence are the words I tend to lack when writing or when trying to articulate something into spoken words.  Art or craft can often trigger words I can't find or an alternative.  

The real problem is with lockdown and a lack of respite it's just not possible to walk anymore.  Craft can be achieved with a little juggling but I really do miss the walking.  I know it's not something to dwell on because there will be a time when I can do it again but for now, I need to make the most of the nature in the garden, I'm lucky that there are butterflies, toads, thousands of bees, deer who frequent the fields either side, hedgehogs and even the odd squirrel all on my door step. There's an increasing variety of birds too, I've been lucky enough to have a woodpecker appear in the garden as well as robins, starlings and many other small birds.  All in all I can take a quick stroll around the garden enjoying nature or sit out for an hour and enjoy it that way.  Either way I'm extraordinarily lucky I can enjoy it on my doorstep without having to travel and really should make the most of it.  

Nature is a great way to calm my mind but also offer a distraction, it allows me to refocus and take a new approach to it all.  I struggle with dealing with stress so am really working hard towards finding better ways to cope, whether that's admitting it's better to leave the dishes and craft or accepting I need a change of air and going outside even just for five minutes so for now that will be my respite, just grabbing a few minutes here and there to do something that helps me to process and release stress.